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The Ultimate Guide to Cougar Dating

Nov 25, 2019

If you want to know why so many women are turning cougar, how you can seriously raise your casual dating game, turbo boost your profile and become THE toyboy that cougars regularly seek out EVERY NIGHT, then read on my friend

Long gone are the days of bad stereotypical associations attached to being a MILF. In fact, many of the ladies we spoke to in order to create this guide consider being a MILF a flattering thing. A cougars out on the prowl looking for her next toyboy is so common nowadays even the red top tabloids aren’t giving a toss on the subject. For you this is a good thing, and I’ll explain why in this guide.

We wanted to really get the low down in to this and give you the facts not the fiction, so we set out to interview and quiz as many cougars as we could. Really delve deep (pun intended) and start understanding what it is cougars are actually looking for, and why so many of them are looking for a younger guy. The results shocked even us!

Typically, we think like guys. Let’s face it we are one. But we all think too much like a guy. This is our problem, we need to switch our approach. We think too much with the crown jewels inside our Calvins. It’s time to put the feminine hat on and start coming at this from a woman’s perspective.



Why so many women are turning cougar

Cougar in bed

72% of the cougars we spoke to said the number one reason they preferred the company of a younger man was down to the attentiveness and respect they received. Read that again guys – attentiveness and respect!

They found that guys nearer their own age just weren’t giving them the attention they were looking for. Not appreciating them as much as they should. Taking for granted what they had. Their loss is your opportunity.

These statistics mean that 3 out of every 4 cougars say their number one reason, and thing they look for in a toyboy, is for them to be attentive and respectful.

Start the conversation with a dick pic and the hard-truthful reality my friend is you’ll be sitting at home playing xBox Live eating a Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodle, whilst your competition are out getting some fun on.

After attentiveness and respect the next top response, given by 20% of the ladies we spoke to, was down to their want to feel alive and young again. This one is very important gentlemen, and one to note down if you want to start winning a cougar’s attention.

Many cougars have gone through prior relationships that for one reason or another didn’t work out. Some have spent much of the past 15-20+ years raising a family and have often felt unappreciated. Other ladies were just not looking forward to the reality of growing old, and have a desire to relive some of their youth – or enjoy the experiences they never had the opportunity to.

A younger companion can offer this. Someone who wants to explore and have adventures – maybe travel. Has fresh energy around them. Enjoys going out and having fun. It’s very appealing.

If you want to appeal to a cougar, you need to offer what they are looking for. This is the trick MANY younger men out there miss. They just don’t get it. Their profiles photos are full of self-loving bathroom six-pack snaps, or even worse photos of the crown jewels. Trust me here guys, women don’t (initially at least!) want to see these. When they’re ready to see, they will ask!

Often young men’s profile descriptions can often outdo, in a really bad way, their selfie attempts. Some talk about their penis size, their bedroom preferences and strange random fetish sh*t that’ll make most women run a mile. Guys – don’t do it. Just don’t do it.

Any guy that says ‘casual dating doesn’t work’, or that ‘cougars are a myth’, usually end up having a dating profile that goes something like this. Go figure!

If this resembles your own dating profile then go ahead enjoy the Xbox and cry in to your pot noodle tonight whilst you check your phone every 10mins, thoroughly disheartened by the lack of interest.



Offer a cougar what she wants not what you think she needs

What a cougar wants

A cougar’s mind is where 70% of any sexual chemistry she will feel towards you comes from – and only 30% comes from the body

Guys and girls think differently about sex. Always have, always will. You can’t odds it, so just accept it and try to conform. Trying to seal the deal straight away with a few body shots and an invitation to destination bedroom won’t work 98% of the time.

We are a species built on connection. People want to feel that connection with someone before jumping in to bed. More often than not this comes from the female than male, but if you want to attract your cougar mate you need to change tactics.

Women are bombarded with sexual offers all the time. Bombarded with more dick pic snaps than you could shake a stick at. If you want to make an impression, appeal to her in a way no other man is. Yes, she would prefer you have a great gym toned body and more hung than Tonto, but she wants to also make sure you’re not a complete dick.

If you want a case study look no further than the now infamous E.L. James, author of Fifty Shades of Grey  . This one novel sent women of all ages up and down the country in to sexual frenzy. This is a blueprint of how it’s done.

It’s also no surprise that E. L. James is a woman. She wasn’t writing Fifty Shades of Grey from a man’s perspective, she was writing it for a woman. Channeling directly in to her needs, her erotic desires and her wants. If you need a blueprint, just take a look a deeper look in to what she created.

Was Christian Grey sending Anastasia a crude dick pic over WhatsApp? – No he wasn’t.

We can’t all be billionaire chisel jaw model material, but then again neither is your competition. Like all contests you don’t necessarily have to be the best in the world – just better than other competitors in the race.

The appeal in Christian Grey is not just in his looks or his six-pack – although these help – but he offered Anastasia excitement. Mr Grey is confident not cocky, has demeanor but isn’t a dick. We may not all be able to fly our cougar across New York in a private chartered helicopter at night but put in the effort to make her feel special and you will get your just desserts.

Prove to those cougars you’re smart, confident, cheeky, exciting and looking to treat her with respect and they’ll be beating down your boudoir door!



Write a killer Cougar Dating profile and boost results by 578%

Write a Killer Cougar Dating Profile

Perhaps this should have been an article in its own right. I’m going to put together an ultimate dating profile guide (coming soon) that will help your profile get the attention you deserve!

If you’re one of these people who look at the flashing curser in the ‘About Me’ box on our dating profile and have no clue what to type – don’t worry, you’re not alone. People hate talking about themselves generally (Big Brother, Love Island and all Reality Show contestants being the exception to the rule!).


Your profile is split in to two sections:

Profile Photos

Your profile photos are your shop window. Your advertisement to you. Before reading anything all the cougars looking at your profile will decide to either read more or jog on within around 4 seconds (unless the first photo is a penis portrait, and that decision is easily made within 0.7 seconds flat!).

Yes my friend, 4 seconds to hook her attention like a plastic duck in a fairground.

So, what photos work?

This is casual and sexual dating, not normal dating. The rules are different. This is not the ultimate carte blanche to add full blown bathroom mirror nude photos though. Be teasing sure but leave something to their imagination.

Make sure one of your photos is of you dressed in smart attire. Be groomed, wear shirt and trousers (tie optional but if you do, add a tie bar). Dress smart. Impress.

Don’t believe me – watch the below video and see the Number 1 item on the list!

Did you hear at 00:45 – a suit is ‘lingerie for women!’. This should be photo number one on your profile page. It doesn’t matter that this is for a casual dating profile. The same rules apply.

Next a casual photo. Ideally outdoors and no, not at midnight outside a pub on a Friday night chugging down your 14th beer. Outdoors around nature works really well!

Your first photos are to try and show the cougars out there that you’re smart, confident and a gentleman. If you achieve this and you’ve hooked a number of cougar’s attention you are now standing out. You’re now doing what almost every guy fails to do. Your first 4 seconds a success, she’s hooked and still reading.

What next?

Now the normal dating rules fall out the window. You can be a bit cheekier with the next two photos. A body shot in a tight-fitting t-shirt, for those gym goers, is a good way to tease. This is a better way to show off the efforts of your workout regime without going OTT.

There are hundreds of YouTube videos showing you how to take great selfies. How to edit and enhance your photo to show you off in the best light possible. Your photos are your shop window, so you want to enhance everything you can. Why wouldn’t you.

Here’s a great guide from GQ Magazine to show you how to take better model looking selfies 


Profile Description

Your photos have done the trick and you have a number of cougars biting on their bottom lip. She’s hooked. She wants to find out more.

This is the equivalent of approaching a random lady in a bar or club, asking her name and whether she would like a drink and getting an initial green light. She’s keen and interested, but she wants to know more before she’ll let her guard down.

This is where you cougar dating profile comes shine a welcoming beacon of light to the sirens of the sea.

This is where of course you write about you. Your goal though with your profile is to show trust; maturity (a cougar wants a younger man, NOT a boy) and that she can have a connection with you – as well as great sex. The three are universally joined at the hip.

We can’t write your dating profile for you of course. Only you know you, but here’s a list of do’s and also don’ts to set you on your way to top notch profile writing:


  • Be honest. Being trustworthy is key to a cougar’s interest. Break this at your peril. You have been warned;
  • Act mature. Immaturity is one of the BIGGEST turn offs for women – cougars especially;
  • Write your profile showing you’re not just after a one-night stand. Cougars want to be appreciated for more than just the night. They don’t always need long term commitment, as long as everyone is open and honest about it but show you are looking for a connection, excitement and fun;
  • If you have an ambitious side or a cool hobby, then say so. This is the perfect time. Women like ambitious guys, it can be a powerful aphrodisiac;
  • Travel is also a great hook line. If you’ve never left the country don’t make out you live out of your suitcase travelling the world in first class luxury (see point 1 about honesty!). Everyone loves to travel and explore. This is time a cougar may want to get out and explore the things she hasn’t. You never know there may be a naughty weekend away to somewhere exotic on the horizon. Mention the places you’ve been, or places you want to go. It’s a good topic conversation too on a cold Monday morning in Blighty;
  • Add ‘Conversation Hooks’. This is where you write something to encourage a question. Making contact and starting a conversation with a stranger online is a fine art. Something like ‘Biggest risk ever taken – quitting my job to start my own business’. Obviously only say this if it’s true but there’s not only an air of ambition here, but also excitement and a great conversation hook;



  • Don’t start your profile with ‘Hello ladies’. This sounds like you are talking to the masses. Write your profile as if you are talking to just one cougar, not thousands. You want her to feel she is being talked too directly – not one of many;
  • Don’t just talk about sex. Add some cheeky references of course but don’t make the whole profile about how the fantasies you want to live out, or positions you want to get her in to – this comes later!
  • Don’t add ‘If you want to know, just ask’. This maybe a personal bug-bear this one, but why do people include this. The person reading your profile doesn’t know you. They have just your photos and profile to go on. They’re more likely to jog on to someone who isn’t going to make them work to start a conversation. Rant over;
  • Don’t write in text speak. Use correct grammar. Run your profile copy through a spell check. There are free services such as Grammerly that can help you polish your written profile;
  • Don’t write too little, don’t write too much either! There isn’t a rule of thumb here but around 200 words or so is fine;


Having good profile photos and an engaging profile story can see 6x more cougars interacting with you than poor quality photos, and a sparse or poorly written profile.

Get this right and see your cougar dating results take a rocket boost skywards!



How to start a conversation with a cougar

Talk to a cougar

You’ve followed this guide so far and bam, your inbox is getting hit!

Now we need to take every effort not to balls up all the hard work put in so far. Whether your profile is getting noticed and those all-important likes, or whether you’ve been contacting cougars, when you get those matches the conversation starts.

Now don’t let the ego testosterone take affect and go in like a bull in a china shop with something sexual. Big faux pas. You do that and more often than not it’s instant end game.

Start with something simple. A straight forward ‘Hey – <insert name> – how are you?’ will do the trick to get her attention. Use her name when messaging, it’s more personal. Use wittiness at your discretion, if you can pull it off, just don’t be a dick or cocky about it.

Just remember the CAR approach. Confidence, Attention and Respect.

Women also often hate the fact men don’t read their profiles. So read them. Better yet, drop something early in to the conversation that you’ve seen stand out in their profile. Show instantly you bothered to actually read what she took the time to write.

The conversation with a cougar can turn sexual but banter with it, don’t go for glory on the third message with a bedroom invitation. Take your time with it. Tease her. Take a little time to get to know your cougar first.

If she leads with the sexual conversation, then bingo the worlds your oyster. Hint at it if you like but see if it’s reciprocated in her responses. If not be patient, as she’s still sussing you out!

Spend time to get to know her and appreciate her – and she will find more ways than ways than one to show her appreciation in return.



In Conclusion

If you have followed this guide, you’ll soon be heading out on a cougar date

It’s not uncommon for a first meet to take place in a hotel room but generally meeting for a drink or lunch first is a good idea. Remember guys, she needs to trust you. You need to have trust in each other.

If you’re honest and let her know you’re looking for an open relationship (if this is your intention) and she’s ok with it, there’s no reason why you can’t follow these steps and look to message and meet many cougars.

If you’re looking for just one cougar let her know that too. There are a lot of cougars that appreciate the commitment of one guy she doesn’t have to share. If this is your preference let her know this too.

See what works for you and what doesn’t. Learn from your experiences. Every person is different, every relationship is different. Enjoy the experience!

Now guys all you have left to do now is join the cougar dating site by clicking here and get started!

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